Mat Tidor & Mr Earthworm

"Our greatest glory is not in never falling but in rising every time we fall." -Confucius

There will be many times in life when everything around you seems so wrong and messed. The time you would feel utterly hopeless and useless. The time when nothing seems right and everything you do just backfire. And when it hits you, you suddenly lose all the confidence and strength you have, making you feel so weak, lost and vulnerable. And at the very first instinct, you run and hide away from everyone and anyone. Not because you don’t want to meet or hang out with them anymore. Not because you don’t wish to have anything to do with them anymore. Not because you don’t care about them anymore. But because, all you need is that some time and space to be away from everything and anything to sort your life back into pieces.

Yesterday’s outing left me in a nostalgic state. It’s been a year since we all left school. I remembered stepping in the polytechnic for the very first time, all ready and excited to make many new friends and embark on a new journey of life. I thought it would be what I had always envisioned polytechnic life to be but sadly, I only remembered year one as a lonely one with very few friends by my side. I remembered how I devoted my entire time and effort into studies and I didn’t even dare to hope or expect anything to change for the remaining years. I was resigned to fate that nothing interesting or exciting could probably happen. I was indeed wrong because things took a turn for the better in year 2. I met a bunch of amazing, crazy, fun, loving and friendly girlfriends. Being extremely friendly people, my social circle expanded all thanks to them. I only remembered year 2 passing so fast that before I knew, I was already in the last semester of my 3rd year. If I was asked to describe that last semester, I would definitely say it was indeed the best and memorable moment of my poly life. Despite all the crazy workload, the heavy responsibilities of the final year project and the tremendous amount of pressure I was facing, year 3 have been one of the best moments in my life. It was the semester that I saw so much love in the air. I witnessed how everyone came together as one, putting aside their differences and helped each other out. I witnessed the bonds of many that were forged before got tighter as the days passed.
It’s amazing how far our friendship have come. And although it has been a year, at times I still suffer from withdrawal symptoms. I definitely miss getting prepared to go to school. I miss attending tutorials, lectures and labs. I miss the school environment. I miss the school canteen. I miss eating in school. I miss staying in school till late to rush for projects. I miss going bonkers over projects. I miss breaking down. I miss stressing out. I miss mugging for exams. I miss all those library sessions for exams. I miss all those shit and crappy talks. I miss all those tea breaks we have. I miss people asking me for my notes. I miss lending people my notes. I miss reminding people to keep my notes in the perfect condition. I miss scolding people for bending my notes. I miss going after people for my notes. I miss pulling pranks on my friends. I miss all my friends. I miss Chongpoh. And most importantly, I miss everything about school. I started poly hating it a bit but I ended it loving it more than I could ever imagine I could. It couldn’t have been possible without the support and love from the amazing group of friends I have. =)

And among the group of amazing friends I met throughout my poly days, there are two people I would love to mention. Two people whom I respect and love. Two people who are special in a lot of ways and have made a special impact in my life. Two people whose special day falls yesterday. The first commonly known as Mat Tidor by my group of girlfriends; simply because we always catch him sleeping in lectures and the second as Mr Earthworm for the drawing he drew when we were given that assignment in SNSC class. My friendship with them has come a long way and I treasure them with all my heart. They both have been great buddies and like a brother to me. I sincerely wish them both lots of happiness and all the best for the future endeavors. Tkc always. Happy 22nd!!



P/s: In case you all are wondering or have no idea. From left: Mr Earthworm, Mat Tidor

-haRYANa-

Special People

What is a birthday?
A birthday is a time for presents and cake,
Friendship and laughter and wishes to make.
Yet our own special day means so much more
Cause it’s a time to look forward to what lies in store
For a birthday is not just for marking years passed
It’s a time to create brand new memories to last.
-Anonymous

Today is a special day. A special day for two. Two very special and important people in my life. Both who have played a special role in my life. And probably one of the very few people I trust with my entire life.
The first i am going to mention is someone I am very close to. He, who has been alongside me since I entered in this world and watched me grow from that small baby I was 21 years back, to the person I am today. He who have seen me in whatever conditions or state I have been in and who have always been there for me. He who loves to irritates me and who purposely loves doing childish and ridiculous things to anger me. Yes, although at times, he can seriously be a big pain, I still treasure and love him with all my heart. To me, he’s the best, coolest and funkiest brother and I’m glad to have him in my life. I would never want to exchange him with any other cause without him; my life would be incomplete and totally meaningless. I seriously adore him to death and I sincerely wish him all the best in his life journey.

Abang, be it for your career, your love life and everything else, just remember to always believe in yourself. I have great faith and I believe you can do it. Just know that should one day, should everyone in the world decide to turn their backs on you, remember you still have mak, abah, adik, me and anty aini. We would always be standing and supporting you. I love ya. Tkc always. Happy 24th!!



When I was younger, I thought that a best friend is the person whom eats with you, share her toys with you, play with you, walk home with you and help you with your homework. I thought a best friend has to be from the same class with you. Of course I never found anyone who fits my ideal description of a best friend. As I grew, I realized that a best friend isn’t the person who I listed out early. A best friend can come from different class and different background. He/she is just someone who connects with you spiritually. Someone who shares not only your joy but also your sorrows. Someone who understands and doesn’t judge you. Someone you know you can trust and is there. A best friend doesn’t have to be beside you physically for you to know she/he is there because her/his presence lives around you. A best friend doesn’t mean having to meet and updates on each other life but rather you know even after the longest time of not meeting, you can pick up from where you last left.
She has been with me since my secondary school days and she taught me the meaning of having a best friend. Our beautiful friendship journey started off with a simple hi bye game which later blossom to something deeper as the years passed. One of the most beautiful, lovely, intellectual, kind, strong and soft-tempered soul I have ever met, she has indeed made a huge impact in my life. I love her with all my heart and I thank god for giving me a wonderful friend like her.

Dearest Eileen, although I may have not been involved in your life like I was before, trust me that doesn’t mean my care for you have lessen. You will always be my best friend and that shall never change the fact. Remember the quote which we follow closely, “Courage is when you know your licked but you being anyway and you see through it no matter what”. What I am trying to say here is I know you are going through a difficult period but I have always known you as a strong gal and I have absolute faith that you can go through it. Tkc always my dear. I wish you great health, joy and happiness. Yes, your letter will come real soon. =) And we have always been saying this for the longest time ever but we will meet up one day and we definitely have lots of catching up to do. Till then…Stay Strong..Happy 21st!!



-haRYANa-

April the 8th

"I dont like the person I am now, just like a girl without any courage, who wears a false smile every day, who failed to find the guts and drifts along from day to day." - Anonymous

Yes, I am an emotional freak. I am one and I shall not deny that fact. The past few days or should I even say weeks has been an emotional ride. I thought I was prepared and I thought I was strong enough for anything. I thought I would handle it better because I went through it before. But no, when it came crashing into me just like I had expected, I scramble to keep myself afloat. The first time was bad and this time it felt worst. And just when I thought I had more than enough to handle, one by one, they came crashing into me. I wont go further and don’t bother asking because not only I hate people asking when I have no wish to talk bout it. Most importantly, I hate writing about depressing or miserable stuff and end up attracting sympathy votes. Oh well, no matter how messed up everything is, life is always beautiful, full of love, joy and hope.

Moving on to a brighter note, yesterday, I accompanied my aunty to tekong with my other cousins for her son’s enlistment. I remembered taking the bus ride to the ferry terminal and imagining me being the one enlisted. I found myself taking a look at the scenery outside as though it was my very last look at the outside world. The entire ride to tekong, definitely left me in deep thoughts as I contain the excitement and nervousness of what to expect there. Oh yes, it was crazy, I wasn’t the one enlisted but I was the one getting excited over everything. Tekong wasn’t the least I expected it would be. I remembered the dudes talking about that place so much that I imagined Tekong would be a place so lifeless with no whatsoever beautiful scenery, only plain colored buildings with little trees and lots of sand. It wasn’t as bad as what I thought it would be. In fact, it looked like my secondary school only with a bit of style.
I got to take a look at the bunks, the canteen, the auditorium, the layout of the school. I do not have any serious complains, well probably only with regards to the clothes lines which was seriously dirty and totally covered with lots of the birds shit and also the female toilet which I think seriously need a lot of cleaning cause it stinks big time. Other than that, I think everything was fine. I had a feel of what it was like to queue for the food like an ns man and tasted the food they would be eating (honestly, the food isn’t exactly nice at all). I witnessed the swearing ceremony and saw some of the trainings that were going on. It was indeed a cool experience. I had the opportunity to visit and had a feel of the place that the dudes have always been talking about. =)
Yes, did I mention how similar everyone looks? They are all either in their army uniform or PT kit with their dark tanned skin and their GI haircut. Even those in specs, most had those black plastic frames. So imagine walking in a canteen full of them, carrying two cups of water and you hear your full name (minus my dad’s name) being called out and when you turn, you see a group of them all looking so alike, all looking at you and then there is this guy sitting in the middle who looks just like the rest waving his hands at you? Oh yes, me being blur, i just stood there trying to figure out who the person is. I definitely had to take a second good look before I realized who he was. It was actually Farhan from my secondary school. He is my good friend’s best friend and a very nice person indeed. It’s been so long since I last saw him and I can’t believed he still remembered my name. =)
And oh, Farhan wasn't the only familiar face i met there, guess who I met. Haha, none other than our very own Sergeant Muhsin in the auditorium ushering the parents to their seats. It was just weird seeing Muhsin like that. I think everyone there just look so weird. Oh no, don’t get me wrong, I didn’t mean weird in a rude way. Somehow I guess when you are in there or probably when you are on duty or probably even when you are wearing that uniform, I think the manly and macho image just comes together with and I must say its just funny and weird to see them in that light. =) I did manage to have a short chat with him and when I was done, I realized how much I miss the dudes, every single one of them in the group, which includes the babes too. It’s been ages since I last met them. Hence, this big shout out to everyone in hope that everyone is fine and doing well. *BIG TIGHT HUG* =)
Oh well, I did had fun there. Tekong has indeed been a rather interesting and emotional experience. Although I kind of like the environment there because it’s peaceful, well its only because I don’t have to go through all those tough training. I am pretty sure if I was a guy I bet I would be crying every single day and hating every single moment there. There’s just this lame and weird thought running in my mind right now. What if we women need to serve Ns? Oh hell, don’t even talk bout the training, rather I can imagine us crying and hugging our love ones so tightly when they bid farewell at the ferry terminal during sending off. I think it would be quite a scene. Haha. =)

I always like ending my entries in a positive tone. Because like I said I always believed no matter how terrible and messed up everything is, life is indeed beautiful. You can lose everything except these four things: Faith, Hope, God and Believe; the things that you have to hold on to close in your heart.

But before I end this long entry, I would like to mention a very good friend of mine. Although I just knew him not too long ago, he has been nothing but an amazing friend to me. He is someone with a very warm and friendly personality. A great buddy to talk with, someone who listens patiently when you need someone to just listen, someone who never judge others, a great bullying partner and probably one of the most dedicated, committed and faithful guy I have ever come across. =) Yes, I think you know who you are. Trust me even though I love to bully and tease you, I don’t mean any harm. =) Thank you for being there when I needed someone to listen and not judge. And although this comes a day late, from the bottom of my heart, I sincerely wish you lots of happiness and joy in the world. Happy 21st Bro!! =)





p/s: Anyone remembered what happen a year back on the 8th of April? I did and it shall always be rooted in my heart. Dnd. =) Till then..Tkc ppl..