"Go take the world by storm, walk around with a smile on your face and a spring in your step." - Ana

My whole family went to Malaysia for the weekend leaving me all alone at home, something not very new considering I always have big problems getting away from work. That was supposed to be the plan but apparently mummy messaged me on Friday night while I was having tuition informing me that my 'Baby Brother' was sick and will not follow them to Malaysia.
So on Saturday after my work, I met and treat him dinner. It's been quite a while since I went out him alone. It's been a while since I last had a proper one-to-one talk to him about everything. He's busy with school and I'm busy with work. I still remember how he would pester me to buy him ice-cream or tibits each time I fetch him back from pre-school. I still remember how my elder brother and I always argue over who to pick my baby brother up from school. I still remember how he would often peep into my room to talk to me and how I would yell at him to get out. It's crazy how you can miss someone so much when you actually see them everyday. Although now all grown up, in my eyes, he is still my baby brother whom I pamper alot.

And so yesterday when I asked him what he wants to have for lunch today, he told me that it's been a while since I last cook. It's true, I can't even remember when was the last time I cook a proper meal for my family. I remember how I use to clean the house, cook meals and bakes cookies/kuih on Saturday/Sunday. But ever since I started working with this current company, I stopped doing them. My house and my room is in a mess and really need some scrubbing. Something I will first look into the moment I quit my work. And because of what my brother said, I ended up cooking a meal for the whole family today. It's nothing too big, just a simple meal but I am feeling very satisfied. =) I swear nothing beats better than being home with a simple cooked meal and your family.

I finally made a decision. I will be lying if I said there isn’t any day I wake up not thinking about it. There was a war happening in my head and I was torn between the two. There was two route to choose from. The first is what I call the safe route: Get into a top 15 university in the world, study what I have learnt before, graduate with a reputable and recognized degree and be in my comfort zone. The second route is what i call the risk: Get into a university not as high ranking as the previous, study what I might not have studied before but hopefully graduate with a degree that will give me more options in my career in future. And I chose the later, people may think I am nuts but I am more of a risk taker even if it means failing, it's better than just sticking to something just because I know I will be safe.

"Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things that you didn't do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover."

You sure sound like you know what you want. go get em, tiger. and don't look back. =)

There's so many things that is happening to the people I care these days. Sometimes I wish the word pain and sorrow doesn't exist because I hate to see anyone in that situation. Because I know how sucky it is and I wish there is something I could do about it.

"Anger is natural. Grief is appropriate. Healing is mandatory. Restoration is possible. We must accept finite disappointment, but we must never lose infinite hope. "

How do you..

How can you define the word L_ _ _ when a guy who promised not to leave his gf but when he gets tired with his girl, he dump her or he play her out.
How can you define true L _ _ _?
If you are telling me that it happens when you marry someone then how do you define it when a husband who vows to go through thick and thin, through worst and good times but when he gets tired with his wife, he cheats on her and walks out on his own family. He told me I am pessimistic and should be more optimistic and be more open. That's true I am pessimistic because I have seen it happen before. It's sad and it's scary. That's why I think the word is too widely used and too freely use. Others may have their own defination of the word but to me it's sacred, it's precious and it's too valuable. That's the reason why I refuse to use that word too freely on anyone because saying it would only lose the meaning and the beauty of the bond that is shared. And to add, I long lost faith in it...

My boss is scrambling to find a replacement. Yesterday was a whole day of interviewing potential candidates for my position. She told the attachment students that I am leaving and said that losing me is like losing one of her arms. I think that's sweet. Maybe I am just being sensitive but somehow I feel they are treating me better these days. My director even told me to come back during the school holidays to help out. I am feeling so much happier these days. Usually, I would be the one feeling like shit in the office. These days everyone except me is feeling the pressure. Maybe because I know I am leaving and maybe because they know that once I leave, they might have to cover my duties before the new person settle down. Oh well, for now, I need to find a part-time job on Sat and Sun so I can support myself. Anyone know of any vacancy?

I am a happy lady

"Lots of people want to ride with you in the limo, but what you want is someone who will take the bus with you when the limo breaks down"- Oprah Winfrey

I was planning to update my blog earlier but my schedule was tight and I didn’t have the time so hence only now. This entry was written based over what happened the last weekend so it may be outdated but who cares, I still feel like writing it down.
Oh well, where sld I start. ..Let me see, was it one or two, no wait, I tink it was three, no...Six months or was it 8 months….I can't remember how long it was since I last met them. I was terribly missing them and so when it was decided I was to meet naz, yan and ahmad at Marina Square after work, I was freaking excited. I wasn't expecting any others to come since nobody responded to my message so imagine my surprise, when out of nowhere, Muzn and Fier came and join us. It was the usual talk on ns and lots of catching up. Before I realized, we were heading Town to meet Shawn. At that point of time, I was very happy and very satisfied that I got to meet them although not everyone was present.
Yes, I was very contented and feeling very happy so I wasn't expecting anything else much less to bump into someone whom I have not met since graduation day.. Yes, and i did and it was none other than Sean tiger..My Big Sister, he was the last person I was expecting to bump or met and boy I bloody miss him a lot. He still looked as pretty as ever and that gorgeous smile was still there. I was still trying to soak and contain my happiness when we bumped into Muhsin. After which, Khai and Mar joined us. I swear words can't even describe how I feel that night. All the ns talks, the opening of our dream school and our different roles, the sex education prep talk given by naz, yan and ahmad, all the comical talks about superman and other cartoon characters, the jokes at B.K, the kecohness, the cafe, the kena sabo game, the stupid things we had to do, the crazy song and action movements in Shawn's ride made me the happiest woman that day. It was so overwhelming and even as i am typing this entry, I am still beaming. Thank you guys for the wonderful company and thank you for enlighting me on the D word. hah.



Moving on to work, things are looking great. Workload is getting heavier by the day but I am feeling better nowdays. I finally plucked all the courage to inform my boss and director that I am quiting in June because I am furthering my studies in August. I can still remember the shock and jaw dropping look on their faces as they swear they didn't saw that coming. I think they are scrambling to find someone to replace me. hah. Oh well, I might still work part-time for them but yar for now, I can smell the fresh air of hope and freedom. =)

P/S: Thanks to Shawn and Yan, I am now hooked to this song. Yikes..