Finally

And so exams like finally over.. Monday morning paper was do-able. The afternoon one(happen to be my better subject) was a disaster. Oh well, the blowing hot and cool atmosphere plus the overloading of information in my brain was enough to end the day nursing a headache. And I woke up not feeling too well today. I think my body need a break..

And so the hols are here and below are how I want to spend my holiday:

1) Get a new handphone
2) Read a sad book and cry my heart out
3) Cut my freezy and dry hair
4) Go on a short holiday
5) Catch up on my beauty sleep and rid of my dark rings under my eye
6) Fix a dental appointment for my teeth
7) See a demertologist, my face is breaking out into pimples
8) Shopping, I need new clothes
9) Meet up with long time friends because I miss them alot
10) Watch Videos like mad
11) Watch TV shows like mad
12) Dance around, ok probably not..
13) Organize an outing for family and relatives, it's been way too long
14) Prepare for brother's and cousin's wedding gift
15) Catch a movie, it's been ages
16) Slack around
17) Be a couch potato for a day
18) Clean my room because it's packed with dust and books
19) Clean my house
20) WORK and get money

There you go... For today, I'll settle with number 16, 17 and 10, by slacking around and being couch potato while watching videos.. Toddles..

1 more day

Yup, one more day to suffer before I'm free.. Been studying really hard.. Hopefully, the last two would end on a happier note.

Aside from that, there's this irritating bugger whom I dislike in school. He was my groupmate for one of my projects and boy he really irritates the hell out of me. I really can't stand his cheeky smile or stupid comments or pretending to be 'mrniceguywhoispureandholy' when he's not. I am always sarcastic and avoid him as much as possible because I'm not interested in making friends or talking to him. But he still talks when I ignore him and tell me whatever problems he has about his family when I'm the least interested to know. And today, to add on the list of things I hate about him, he had to send me a stupid email which has a question in it. And guess what was the question??

It was "Do you think love is blind?".. He even signed off saying he really wants to know my answer. WTF.. If I have a firecracker in my hands right now, I will light it and shove it down his mouth.. Irritating pest.

And no of course I didn't reply.

2 more

1st question... *flips paper*
2nd question... *flips paper*
3rd question... *flips paper*
4th question... *panick*

I'm so getting use leaving big empty spaces on my exam scripts.. Like always, I was scribbling every single formulae I can remember on that yellow booklet. Worst, I have no idea what I was writing about.

Maths and me, boy we are two worlds apart.. Like ice-cream and onions, they don't taste good together. It's the same, we just don't go the same way neither do we click. Gut feeling telling me I will get my first 'F' after a long time. oh well, 2 more on the monday and I'm done with the torture.

Everyone say they are proud of me when I manage to pass. If I don't would everyone still be?

Random

I realized the best way to destress yourself(other than crying) is to write. I have been writing a lot lately although many of it remain as draft.

If my head explodes now, it will be filled with all the juicy information I have been trying to cramp for tmr's paper.

I thought this sem I could do better because I have been attentively spacing out my time and managing it pretty well that I managed to revise every subject every week. Well I thought not, because when last monday came, I went blank and whatever I wrote on that booklet was crap.

Tmr is the killer one. I know I will be panicking and trembling in fear when the paper comes. And there might be a possibility, I will be writing some crap for 2 hrs. There's a lot of concepts that I'm not sure and the probability of failing is high. I have no wish to fail but seriously there's nothing much I can do about it except try my damn best which somehow isn't enough. I'm feeling like crap and I hate feeling like crap.

I am worried that I might have to retake every subject this sem.

When it revolves

When your life revolves around a person
You built your entire world around him
You gave your heart, your soul, your money, your everything
in exchange to be with him

Your pillar of strength and source of happiness comes from him
Your direction of life and dreams changes with him
Your faith lingers around him
Suddenly you become his shadow and he becomes your body

Everything will seem perfect..
But when something goes wrong..
Like suddenly he drops out of the picture
Your whole life comes tumbling down faster than the way you built it..
Your entire faith crashes and you lose your direction..
Suddenly you don't know the person you are
You mob in despair thinking that the whole world is against you
And nobody else cares...

Dreams

I want to see the nigara falls, I want to climb the effiel tower, I want to swim in the ocean of maldives, I want to see the cherry blossoms in Japan, I want to see the wonderful scenaries and culture of other people in the world. I want to travel the world and snap beautiful pictures and experience the rich culture.

I may be simple as in I dont lavish in all those branded goods, decorate myself in those jewels and dimes but I do admit I am ambitious. I have many dreams and goals I want to achieve but obviously the two things not helping me of course financially I can't cope and time wise, I'm screwed. It's scary how a thousand and one things there are to do but time is passing way too fast for the number of things I want to do. With my own means and effort, I always wanted to:

1) Travel around the world and experience the rich culture and beautiful scenarie
2) Bring my parents to an all paid expenses trip to a country of their choice
3) Learn the piano
4) Study in university and graduate with a degree
5) To open my very own cafe
6) To be a lecturer

Number 4 and Number 6 are pretty much near my grasp. It's a mile away and I just have to work my ass towards that direction. As for the rest, it's put on hold. But I made a pact to myself. A pact that I have to fufill them before I depart from this world. People may say it's too early to think about death now. I say it's never too early. You never know when it comes, so best is to live life to the fullest. And to me is all about having those goals and going about achieving them. Well, if I do depart before achieving them, I know I tried and worked towards them.

But hor for now, maybe after exams, I need to conquer vivocity(I haven't been there before) and get a new handphone(my hp is dead) before I can start day dreaming about other things.

The hell period has come. I have resigned to fate and I am just trying my best. I know I have studied hard and if that doesn't make me pass my subjects there's nothing I can do except retake the papers.

Project Bitch

"Attitude determines altitude."- Zig Ziglar

Yes, I can be quite a bitch when it comes to projects. I will not tolerate anything less than near perfection when it comes to projects especially when it comes to report.

Reports are really important part of the project because I believe no matter how great or good your project can be but if you fail to write a good report to convience people about the project, the project is as good as a failure. And so when my groupmates work fail me, I will personally get it to be redone or I will personally change the quality of work. Yes, I will whine, bitch, be sarcastic and they may hate me. But for all I care, I'm doing it for the benefit of the group.

And so when my group leader for this particular project fail to lead because he is such a kind soul and wishes not to push anyone, I took the lead of the project and demanded datelines for each individual sections and self-volunteered to be the group's editor. I remembered scrambling through everyone's work for two nights with the help of my cousin to collate and edit the report. I remembered how I just broke into anger and started being a bitch to this particular one from my group because even as the dateline was less than a day away, he had yet to hand in his section.

But I guess being a bitch paid off because when I went to collect the report. I was greeted with a sweet grade and comments on the report cover.

Dear All,
1. The greatest strength of the report are :
a) Strong language skills (clear, coherent and accurate)
b) Systematic and well-organized
2. Your report is also consistent from beginning to end(follows the objective + scope)
3. Your reference list is correct
4. However two areas that needs improvement are:
a) Your report has included information that should only appear in a proposal
b) You neglected to report the results of the interview - or at least a summary of it.

Overall, you guys have written a report that is a PLEASURE to read.

Haryana for your presentation, you gave a good acknowledgement of staff who helped you. You gave a good summary at the end. Nice body posture, very calm and poised. Lastly, you have a very nice voice tone and volume.

With that, I got an A- for my individual abstract and the group report. A for my individual presentation. It's been a while since I saw the grade A appearing on my papers. I just hope overall for this subject, it's an A.