Thursday, April 30, 2009

The crickets are loud today.

I can't sleep and I have no idea why. I'm worried about something but I'm not sure what.

My mind is constantly on the run. Not sure if that is good or bad.

I'm missing something and I know what.

Thursday, April 23, 2009

sch's done. well, at least for now.


and in a few hours time, i'm out of here. well, singapore to malaysia i mean. wld do my mind and soul good for a few days away from this place.

and oh did i mentioned i'm super exhausted and yet i refused to sleep. must be the mood of sch's done.

.yana

Saturday, April 18, 2009

i feel like writing so let see where this will take me..

i could probably start of with yesterday's paper where i blanked out probably due to too much studying on my part. it reminded me of the time where I blanked and wrote only 10 lines for a composition paper in secondary school which awarded me a "see me" remark on the paper. it was similar. i just blanked out, no explaination, no reasons to be given. honestly, there is nothing much I could do now except wait and see how everything goes.

the last few couple of months have been an inner struggle between my mind and soul. while, I have come to terms that life is not perfect often i find myself resentful, hurt and disappointed when things don't go the way i want. like you can work so hard for something, only to see how your hopes and dream shatters right before your eyes.

this shouldn't discourage me, right?

while, it is so easy to get angry and upset and blame everyone else; it is so difficult to see beyond that.

but i am a firm believer of faith and faith is everything for a matter of fact, happens for a reason. i believe we are gifted with the power to discover reasons among tragedy. blessed with the ability to decipher meaning through our trials and tribulations. something many people are oblivious to this gift.

you know when sometimes i tell people, "everything happens for a reason". many never truly believed me. they think it is a reason or just something i say to convince or comfort myself out of something. simply because all it ever does is to create hope that it will make sense one day.

but is that really a bad thing?

because without hope, there is nothing. hope is some power that allow things to happen because of some greater purpose. so why would you not want to hope? why do that to yourself. we are only eliminating the opportunity to grow. the chance to evolve, to be further shaped and molded into the beautiful people that you and i were created to be.

take a moment and let it all sink in.

i have been pondering about this the whole time today, putting off my studying time. i looked back at everything and i realise i have come a long way in achieving some of the goals i set for myself. though there are still many which i have yet to attain, i am contented to know i have begun on that journey. if only those moments where i feel the weakest, i see things the way i see it now, i could do away with all the sorrow i put myself into. but well, "things happen for a reason".

i really wish i could write more for there is so much more in my thoughts. but sadly at this moment time is not on my side. i know it's really an abrupt ending but i still have an upcoming paper in which i have a long way to go in terms of preparedness.

for that reason, i must part.
until the next writing..

i hope for everyone that they will have a day twice as beautiful as they are.


Photobucket

. yana

Saturday, April 11, 2009

It's the time of the semester which I hate most. Headache.

Friday, April 10, 2009

Adele

I absolutely adore her. She's an inspiration to big girls out there; you don't need to be slim and small to make it big and successful. Oh and did I mentioned she has amazing unique vocals.

Saturday, April 04, 2009

The last Lecture

The brick walls are there for a reason. The brick walls are not there to keep us out; the brick walls are there to give us a chance to show how badly we want something. The brick walls are there to stop the people who don't want it badly enough. - Randy Pausch

Thursday, April 02, 2009

There's so much you can take in one day.

There was the morning demo which I had a horrible scare when my project suddenly decide to ditch and hang me for a moment. I was frantically loading my backup project a few thousand times before it finally worked. But when it came to the presentation, I screwed it up pretty badly because certain features didnt work as it supposed to.

And then there was the sudden rain that came without warning and drenched me the moment I walked out of the lab. In which I walked to the nearest lift to go to the toilet after which when I walking along the runway, I forgot that my slippers were slippery and that the floor was wet and there I go with my bag on the floor and me in a somewhat akward position.

And there was the fyp allocation in which I was informed by a friend that I didnt get any allocation and the 2nd round selection was a first come first serve basis and it was opened. The best part was I just stepped in the mrt and my journey back home was about an hour close to two.

But the last straw was the little argument with the big one over scanning his photo when I was desperately attempting to select a project for fyp. And the list of projects left was horrible.

That's it. The weather is crazy, so am I.

And that crying was such a bimbotic moment.
It says a lot doesn't it.

Chasing Pavements - Adele

I've made up my mind,
Don't need to think it over,
if I'm wrong I am right,
Don't need to look no further,
This ain't lust,
i know this is love but,

If i tell the world,
I'll never say enough,
Cause it was not said to you,
And thats exactly what i need to do,
If i'm in love with you,

Should i give up,
Or should i just keep chasing pavements?
Even if it leads nowhere,
Or would it be a waste?
Even If i knew my place

should i leave it there?
Should i give up,
Or should i just keep chasing pavements?
Even if it leads nowhere

I'd build myself up,

And fly around in circles,
Wait then as my heart drops,
and my back begins to tingle
finally could this be it

oh
Should i give up,
Or should i just keep chasing pavements?

Even if it leads nowhere,
Or would it be a waste?
Even If i knew my place
should i leave it there
?Should i give up,
Or should i just keep chasing pavements?
Even if it leads nowhere

yeah
Should i give up,
Or should i just keep chasing pavements?
Even if it leads nowhere,
Or would it be a waste?
Even If i knew my place
should i leave it there
?Should i give up,
Or should i just keep chasing pavements?
Even if it leads nowhere

O-oh

Should i give up,
Or should i just keep chasing pavements?
Even if it leads nowhere,
Or would it be a waste?
Even If i knew my place should i leave it there?
Should i give up,Or should i just keep chasing pavements?
Even if it leads nowhere