Things seemed to be beyond my reach these days. Why is that, the more effort I try to put in, the worst everything seems to get. Am I just plain stupid? And am I being whiny? Should I just shut up and realise I do have limits?

Honestly, I'm tired. Real tired. I dont even know what I want anymore.

I'm not saying I am perfect because it is so obvious I am not but at least I do know where my priorities are. I do know what has to come first and I do know which is of more importance to me.

I don't think I need to be compared to others because I believe I have my own strength. Neither do I think anyone with the exception of god and my parents has any right to judge me.

My personal life is not written on my facial expression neither is it shown through my body language. Does smiling often means that I am not stressed up? Does looking so relax means I do not have many things on my hands? Or does showing that I am happy means everything in my life is going on perfectly?

So here's the deal. I havent been out or met my friends(from different cliques) for two years or more. My days are burned either in school, work or at home mugging. My free time are passed rushing for projects which never seems to end. My last movie was in July and the only time I go out is when my parents ask me out for dinner/lunch or to get things for my nephew or when I need to get stuff for school. And my family and I have been through a rollercoster ride this past few months.

So I guess if that is relax, then I must say you are right.

Love

I was planning to write about turning 24 but as I was writing, the focus and direction shifted. But I guess this is more worth writing and reading.

The stars come out each night
And when the dark meets the light
He kiss the moon goodnight

A new day comes around
A new life born
A new beginning has just began

Something about you
That words cant fully describe
How you make me all warm and fuzzy inside

The way you move
And the way you look
It's like a scenery that changes with time

And when your little fingers curled against mine
I can feel the summer breeze
That's when I know your world's at ease

Only the earth and sky can vouch for me
The happiness I get when our hearts combine

For it's only you, I come alive
And I know I will love you
Forever, now and until the end of time.

Dear Razim,

You are probably too young to even understand what I am saying but I'm gonna say it anyway and someday when you are older you will see this again. You are the best birthday gift I ever received in my life. Although you came out earlier, ten is only the number of days which separates us. I don't think I have ever felt this kind of happiness and love before. I thank you for giving me this opportunity. You are a part of my life now and I will do everything that is in my guts to protect and love you with all my heart. I promise I will. I promise I do. Till I meet you again my little one, you will be in my heart. Always.