As the year ends

2007 for me was learning or dealing out of my personal growth. Transitioning from who i was before and into a new person or rather at least wanting to become a new person. And I think I have changed, changed to become someone who is more comfortable of herself, outspoken and verbal.

I was this person who hid behind a shell, who refuses to express or let my feeling known. Each time someone ask me for a favour, and even when I dont feel like doing, I will just go yes or sure. It becomes so routine that I felt everyone around me took me for granted which caused me to get upset, miserable and overly sensitive easily.

I hated the person who I was becoming. The person who wears a false smile every single day, who failed to find the guts and drifts along from day to day. I just got so sick of everything that I soon began to realise that a lot of times we do so many things out of love for other people that sometimes we forget about ourself and the love we need to get to us. It boils down to a point where you have to realise what's good for yourself and whats not and sometimes you just have to say no.

It is always good to make people want to be happy but at the same time you cant overdo it. You got to learn to please yourself before you start pleasing others. You got to learn to love yourself before you learn to love others. And even if everyone in the world gives up on you the one person who should never is yourself.. Bottom line is you got to start with yourself and if you cant even help yourself, who else can?

Despite the long bumpy ride, 2007 has been amazing. I discovered what I want to be, to learn to take away my expectations, throw away any limits, be proud of what I have achieved and become way more true and honest to myself and people around me. I discovered a personal bond with my love ones and my life can never be more than perfect. And I know despite whatever obstacles and struggles the future may be installed for me, with the love I have for myself and the love that is around me, I'm ready to take them all..

"The bond that links your true family is not one of blood, but of respect and joy in each other's life".. I love my belo family..

My crazy cousins..My pillars of strength and source of comfort..They have always been there and I know they will always be..

The boys(now grown men) that light up my life and changed my perception of men. It was by pure chance of fate that I got close to them and I thank god for that.. And even though I dont meet them that often, I care for each of them and they hold a special place in my heart. And I mean it when I say that because not many men have the privilage to be in my heart. heh

My princesses who made my poly days filled with so much joy and happiness.. Poly would never been the same without them and although we are all busy leading with our own lives now, my love for them has and will never changed..

Time isn't what makes a friendship last. It's devotion and love that keeps the tie between souls. True frens never part, maybe in the distance but not in the heart. That what these two angels are, the friendship that we share since secondary school is amazing and beautiful because even though we rarely meet but when we do, we can pick up from where we left..

There are always reasons why god bring people to your life. And for whatever reasons god had, I'm glad he brought this two makciks into my life. I don't even know where or when or even how it all started. But I am thankful that it did..

Uni life has been a killer experience. This bunch of crazy people made it a whole load easier and am thankful I have them around me. Always guiding, teaching and giving me support me whenever I need.

Last but not least is my dearest cousin. My life would never be complete without her. She who understands me inside out. She who can finish my sentence and who can read my mind. It is her who I trust my entire life with. My best friend, my sister, my everything..

And with much love, I end 2007 with this chapter closed...

When it's finally out...

"Considering the number of obstacles you had to overcome and how certain you were at some parts that you were going to fail..I'm proud of you. It's only the first sem and now that you've settled dowm and learned a trick or two. Make a comeback next sem. Next sem, it's us against ourself since it's an independent class. We can do better..."

And so, I've been waiting for this day..

It was like a big burden weighing over my shoulders for the last 4 weeks. Not a single day I stopped thinking about it and maybe that's the cause of my inability to sleep at night and the none stop wanting to work to occupy my mind...

So my results are finally out and just as I expected, if I didn't fail, I did pretty bad..
Never once in poly my results are this bad with two c's on the examination slip.
But I am thankful to god that I didn't fail any subjects..



Well, ppl say there's a first in everything. So this is my first in getting bad results but I will try not to make it everytime. If this semester I studied god damn hard, next semester will be extra god damn hard..

And next semester, I have chosen not to follow my classmates route and plan my own timetable suitable for myself. So, I'll be all alone with soon to be new classmates.. Hopefully, everything will turn out well... In the meantime ppl, I'm going to try enjoy the last of my school holidays...

This is just a start and not the end...I will fight till the end even if it means getting myself stabbed along the way...

The part where I go HAHA

One of my student, dedicated this current aaron carter song that is playing to me... And that makes me go HAHA....

Thinking about what he said, makes me even go a BIG HAHA...

It's so secondary school days....